2002-01-26

Thai traffic is the solution to overpopulation

Botter allowed me to drive his car into Chiang Mai. This sounds simple but to understand how nervous I felt requires an explanation. Anyone who has done all their driving in America could not possibly appreciate the insanity and chaos that is Thai traffic. The rule of the road is that size does matter. At the top of the food chain are the big trucks driven by drivers paid by the load and keeping awake on methamphetamines. Everyone gets out of their way. Next come small trucks and cars. They can drive in the center of the road and weave around the big trucks. Motorcycles and scooters must stay out of the way. Scooters ride on the shoulder or, at most, on the edge of the road. Bicycles, pedestrians, dogs and chickens keep to the shoulder.

White lines painted on the road are used as suggestions and ignored when inconvenient. Stoplights are, surprisingly, generally respected (unless you can be sure no one is coming the other way.) Don't be surprised to find someone driving in a direction opposite the rest of traffic. Happens all the time. Vehicles pass each other at high speed with scant inches of clearance.

I didn't know it but when my mother told me to look both ways before crossing the road she was referring to Thai traffic. I learned this the hard way on my last visit. I was walking downtown and about to cross the street. Bangkok afternoon traffic was, as usual for the time, at a dead stop. It was a one-way road and I looked down it carefully checking for scooters that might be driving between the cars. All clear. Not a thing moving. One step off the sidewalk and WHAM! I was in the air and on my butt with the wind knocked out of me. I was stunned and didn't know what happened. Some people helped me to my feet and a traffic policeman came over. As with Thai custom he surveyed the situation and delivered justice on the spot. A kid had been driving a motorcycle in the gutter against the direction of traffic and hit me head-on when I stepped off the street. I was cut and scratched but not injured (oh, but I was sore the next day!) so the policeman ordered him to buy some bandages at a nearby pharmacy. This sounded ok to me and I felt foolish for stepping immediately in the way of a motorcycle. The kid was probably relieved that he didn't kill the tourist. Look both ways before crossing the street.

Now, I notice myself instinctively looking both ways every time (and usually twice) before stepping off any curb. Lesson learned.

Families of four on a scooter are common. The Chinese National Acrobat team has nothing on these people. I've seen scooters with baby seats installed behind the handlebars. One quick stop and junior is launched into orbit. No one here thinks this is particularly dangerous yet accidents and deaths are common. Yesterday a bus full of school children tried to pass a car and collided head-on with a truck coming the opposite way. Thirty children died in the accident. It is horrible yet nothing changes.

To survive in Thai traffic you must possess quick reflexes and assume the drivers around you are capable of unexpected random behavior (because they are.) Your degree of driving aggressiveness must be in direction proportion to the size of your vehicle.

Police patrol the road when they need to raise money. Fines are paid on the spot in cash. Blame for accidents usually goes to the driver in the rear on the assumption that he should have seen where he was going.

Many of you reading this may think I have exaggerated my description of traffic in Thailand. Those of you who have been here will understand. I have heard stories of traffic in India and suspect it may be worse, if that is possible to conceive, but Thailand would rank a close second.

Botter drives an 850cc three-cylinder Daihatsu Mira. I have motorcycles that are bigger than that. Still, it gets around surprisingly well and takes me through Chiang Mai traffic and back home with just one close call. I'm starting to get the hang of things.

Selling lottery tickets from a tricycle. He powers it by pushing and pulling on the lever in his right hand.

A bus. Just a small pickup truck with a roof and some benches. These are everywhere.

Motorcycle restaurants are a common sight.

The infamous tuk-tuk; named after the sound its two-stroke engine makes. This driver just noticed me and subsequently made an instant u-turn in the street to give the foreigner a ride. "Where you want to go?" Sorry, just taking pictures. I wonder if he works for Microsoft.

You have to negotiate with tuk-tuk drivers. They love foreigners because they can usually get a much higher fare. It isn't unheard-of for a tuk-tuk taxi to dump off a Thai passenger mid-route in favor of picking up a foreigner who will likely pay more.

Typical overloaded truck. I gave these a lot of room thinking, surely, one would tip over during a turn. Believe it or not but I've even seen trucks loaded like this carrying passengers on top of the cargo. I wonder if they feel no sense of danger.

I'm getting faster at pulling out my camera for quick shots (and putting it back before the light changes.) Can you count how many people are on this scooter? There are four. I've seen quite a lot of scooters bearing four people but five still eludes me.

Tricycle taxis in Chiang Mai.

A couple of motorcycle taxis.

Checkers with bottle-caps as pieces.